By far the funniest moment of my recent trip was the cabin steward flying SF to Sydney (yup, United again). Mr Miracle (for that was his name - no kidding) identified my friend and colleague Morgan McLintic as being British. This, for Brits, usually results in a hestitant confirmation because it's only marginally better than being identified as being from Australia, South Africa, Ireland or Waco, Texas. Something weird is about to follow such as congratulations/condemnation for the role you played in the Gulf War I & II.
He then asked if Morgan would like some tea and proceeded to demonstrate his encyclopedic knowledge of the tea-making process, as the British themselves do it.
"Would you like the milk in the first or the tea", says the nice man.
"Either will be fine, thank you." (Brits say thank you a lot.)
"I know there's a very special chemical reaction that takes place depending on which goes in first", he persists.
"Right. Either is fine, thank you."
"I don't think many people realise what a big difference it makes to the tea", says our tormentor.
"Whichever way you do it will be fine with me, thank you."
"Righto sir, I will return toot sweet", says the blazered bolero.
After a short interlude when singing can be heard from the galley, the United Airline Employee of the Month returns to proudly deliver the cup and saucer with significant panache and flourish.
"Here you are sir. Milk in first, tea in second, no sugar, just the way you want it, delivered by experts."
Morgan smiles thinly and sips.
"Er, it's coffee. But thank you, anyway..."
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